Cucumber Cat's Diary
Cat date, 1st December
It’s been an eventful weekend. The hoomans were out most of Saturday then came home looking tired. Were talking about something called a craft fair. Anyway, they seemed quite happy – until I came in, injured, then they were very concerned. Obviously they didn’t know what had happened, and I wasn’t going to tell them, for the same reason I’m not going to tell you – as a cat I don’t do humiliation! Anyway, suffice to say I didn’t get along well with another local resident (I’m just really hoping I don’t meet him again, my confidence and reputation won’t take another meeting) and it resulted in a couple of deep scratches on my neck and a scratched ear, plus a few other minor scrapes. The problem was that the ones on my neck wouldn’t stop bleeding which caused quite a lot of panic to my hoomans. They were very kind though, trying to clean me up and giving me a warm place to regain my poise. What worried me was they kept mentioning the v-word. I knew what that meant – it meant they would stuff me in that box with holes in the side and put me in the car, taking me to a place that smells weird and sometimes has dogs (!) where the man, who seems really nice at first, insists on looking in my ears and mouth, stabbing me in the neck and poking a thermometer somewhere-I’m-not-going-to-mention! I did NOT want to go. Thankfully by the following day I was feeling much better so they didn’t mention it again. I’m a bit nervous about going out in case HE was out, but thankfully the rest of the weekend was uneventful. I’ve managed to clean most of my fur but there are still some blood stains. On a positive note, I got loads of those wonderful squares of savoury satisfaction, even better, they had cat nip in them too – that definitely helped me to feel better! Even my fellow feline has been quite nice to me for a change. The weather is awful so I don’t think I’ll be going out much for a while. Time for a nap – all this typing has made me tired!
Cat date, 11th November
Good morning
My hooman has suggested that her customers might like to read a diary of my life – I know that you will be interested in all I do, as a cat I am, of course, incredibly interesting.
I have to say I am very unimpressed with the weather at the moment. I’m assuming hoomans can’t do much about the weather because they don’t seem to like it either. I haven’t been able to sunbathe on the bike shed roof for more than a few hours this week. On a positive note, the colder weather has meant the hooman has got out warm blankets for me, though the hoomans in the house use them as much as I do. Annoying though this is when I want to use them, it does have the advantage that the sofa and blankets are pre-warmed when they do become available.
They were especially attentive this last week. There was something strange and slightly alarming going on. On and off for a few weeks there have been some disturbingly loud bangs, crackles and whistles going on outside. I seem to remember something similar happening when it went colder last year. The hoomans don’t seem bothered by the noise but I, and my fellow feline, find it greatly disturbs our sleeping, napping, dozing, lazing-around time and evening prowls. It’s all very annoying. Anyway, this week it was particularly bad one evening – and there was an odd burning smell outside – so bad in fact I gave up my usual evening wander and nosy-around in favour of sitting most of the evening out in front of the TV with the hoomans. Eventually, it all got so bad I went in search of some peace and quiet under a bed. I usually sleep downstairs, but that night, in case my hooman got frightened by the noises, I kept her company in her bedroom. In gratitude for my help she provided somewhere lovely and warm to sleep. Thankfully the weird noises seem to have mostly stopped now.